Sorry, but not sorry.

I was video-chatting with my friend, Shobhit, a while ago, when he suddenly stopped in the middle of his story and said, “Okay, you’re bored.” I wasn’t (because I generally have a resting bitch face) and I said, “No, man. Stop it!” “Okay, I’m sorry”, he replied. After a few minutes, he paused again to say sorry to something stupid, and I exclaimed, “Gosh, you’re irritating me.” Guess what his reply was? (Hint: Starts with an “S” and ends with a “Y”)

I realised that if I was so irritated by his series of unending apologies, how do others put up with mine? It’s so infuriating to hear “sorry” after every minor thing which doesn’t even require an apology. Right now while writing this post, I feel so embarrassed to think about how much I’ve bugged others with so many of my unnecessary apologies. But, I’m not sorry for it.

I’ve always tried my level best to not be an asshole to people, and include “thank you”, and “sorry” in my vocabulary, but I’ve made a mistake by using the latter at a rather alarming frequency.

I grew up in a very disturbed home environment, and one of the lessons that I learnt as a child was that apologising is the best way to resolve a conflict or a messy situation. Over the years, this word’s usage kept increasing. To the extent that, once I walked into our ladies’ washroom at work while two of my female coworkers were in a deep (personal) discussion. I apologised for it, and they stated the obvious — it wasn’t their personal loo. Fair enough. This is to tell you how ridiculous I’ve been! But here’s the truth: When you thank a lot, it’s fine. When you apologise way too much, it shows you as a meek person, a pushover. Especially when it’s at work.

This is what Google told me:

Where saying “sorry” is appropriate

So did my barging on to my colleagues require an apology? Or was my friend’s saying “Sorry” for thinking that I’m bored necessary? No.

So, nope, no more saying “I’m sorry” for:

  • Speaking my mind
  • Doing something that makes me happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone)
  • Saying the truth
  • Not being available all the time when I’m on leave from work
  • Saying “no”
  • Telling someone that they’re being an asshole
  • Buying more books and not reading the ones I’ve already bought
  • Not visiting home as often as others around me
  • Being myself

I could go on and on, but I guess I’ve made my point. Thank you for reading till the end. I’m not sorry for having taken so much of your time. 🙃

P.S.: Thank you Shobhit! I guess, inspiration comes from the most unexpected sources. 😛

Originally here.

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